Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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