these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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