I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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