He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
