Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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