Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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