I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
