and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
