so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
