hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
