We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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