someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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