You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
