Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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