I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can't special order awesome
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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