with your own penis?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
