he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
