dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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