big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
