This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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