my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
