Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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