Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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