No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize