you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
COCAINE IS GR8
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
