Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
