ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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