He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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