brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
