I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
