I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
