id be glad to
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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