You really coming over, don't trick.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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