I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
