tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
