just tell him i said nine months
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
