Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
