i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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