Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
