Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
