i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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