i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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