I wish my penis had an off switch
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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