So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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