imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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