Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
