No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
