found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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