you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
