Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
