I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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