Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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